Last Summer

Silence can be an answer. Period.

Because whenever, whatever and however my ‘love-ones’ try to start a conversation with a questionable smile or a mischievous grin or a sarcastic remark or a pat in the back or a warm hug… during those days, they will all ask the same question, “Why do I go in a relationship when I know from the start that it will only cause me pain?”

When he was gone…**Poof** Everyday was night-on-a-winter…and all the beautiful melody and the rainbow in the blue sky was ‘alien’ to me. His inexistence in my life felt like there’s a broken mirror inside me. I was aching all over while my heart was bleeding…and my river of tears doesn’t seem to wash away the pain.

During those days, nothing else mattered…I tried to lose my hearing, shut down my sense of thinking, put on my selective amnesia button and figuratively close my eyes from the world.

So what? Did I not make it clear? Or clear-er? At that time, I don’t want to be rushed…
I know that I am capable of…letting go, when it’s time to let go. And I will let go because I don’t need to win every battle in my life to prove myself.

I did admit it; a lot of times…I made myself vulnerable to a person. I opened my heart and let him in. And that feeling changed me every single day. And it was amazing.... It was like a miracle taking place.

I fought hard not to fall in love again. And because of that ‘thought’ I was not brave enough to say that I do...I did fell in love with ‘you’.

P.S. You are ‘the one’ but I can’t be with you.

Only ‘we’ can understand what has happened between us.

And so, this is my way of saying…It was all real, believe it happened and accept the fact that we need to forget about the warmth and the enthusiasm of summer. And remain like this…cold, distant and uncaring.