Dealing with a Bully

I never really thought that I would encounter bullies again after gradeschool. But in my life, and its twists and suprises, you can be so wrong...They are everywhere. And I hate to admit that sometimes I want to actually step down to their level. However I choose TO GROW UP. And choosing was half the battle of knowing that they are for 'real'.

I wanted to be able to deal with them with my head. So, here's what I read online from:
http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa101600c.htm
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NAME CALLING & LABELING

Social Weapons & Psychological Warfare More of this Feature
• Social Weapons
• Rumours & Gossip
• Ostracizing & Alienation

Another very common social weapon, it is probably the first one any of us use or are subjected to by others. As far back as grade school kids call each other names and label one another according to a perceived social status; cool, sporty, brainy, nerdy, geeky, loser... In high school the tactic is still used. Sometimes those original grade school lables stick with a person all the way up to high school. Other times, the names and lables become more sinister with age. A lot of the time, the lables are grounded in some truth about the person which makes them even harder to shake.

The only way you can deal with name calling is to roll with the verbal punches and walk away at the nearest opening. Reaction is what the name callers are after. Give them no reaction, or the opposite reaction from the one they want, and they will likely bore and move on. Labelling, on the other hand, is much more complicated.

Unlike name calling, which is stuck in a moment, labelling follows you through time and space. Labelling is the evolution of name calling, it is when a name you are called by others stays with you even when it is not spoken out loud. It is debilitating because more often than not a person comes to see themselves the same way, that is, in terms of the label they have been given by others. How do you deal with something like that? Simple, you beat it!

A label is something that others give to you, if you don't accept it, it isn't really yours. There are two ways to beat this type of social attack. You can OWN your label or you can REFUTE it!

OWNING YOUR LABEL:
You do this by first making the label your own and then redefining what it means. Think about the term "bitch", it used to be an insult toward women yet today many women call themselves this name with pride. It was taken over by the feminist movement almost a decade ago and redefined to mean "strong woman who stands up for herself without apology". Think about the term "geek", it used to be an insult thrown at the brainiest members of a class, but the Silicon Valley set took it over and rewrote it's meaning. With the help of Bill Gate's, billionaire geek extrordinaire, geek became chic and now means, "those who make the world better and advance technology for all". Whatever insult you are called, look for a positive twist and make THAT twist what the word means when applied to you.

REFUTING YOUR LABEL:
Act as if you don't care, the "whatever" attitude, whenever somebody hurls an insult in your direction or treats you a certain (undesirable) way. Never let them see you sweat! Don't let the label consume you, ignore it as best you can and live your life the way that makes you happy. Do not waste time getting upset about the label you have been tagged with, instead work on showing another side of yourself. Create an anti-image label and stick with it. Let others know that the label is an outdated thing of the past. Be outgoing and friendly but don't set yourself up for scrutiny. Identify why you have been given the label and down play the side of you that makes the label stick.
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But for the mean time, I'm walking away. Getting rid of the bad energy.