Exit Macau

my favorite mistake?

it happened. so, i told myself that 'people make mistakes’. it just did. and i can't go back.

because i don't want to go back to what's used to be. i want to move forward.

and even if i was given the chance or was given the choice, i will still do things the same way all over again.

because sometimes we spend so much time planning..to avoid risks or to get results.
but what really matters in life, now that i realize it..is the now. And 'what' the right now is 'what' has made me to be me.

since life is a journey, we prepare ourselves for both the expected, specially the unexpected. the things that we do not plan for and the things that we do not see coming are those we should be more aware of...expect the unexpected as they often say.

they are inevitable..but 'that' only makes us stronger.

so, if along the way i made a mistake, i will not try to change it for the sake of being perfect.
because everything changes all the time. and we are changed by the people we meet. who we are..are not always what we used to be. we change, even if we plan..we change even our plans.

the thing about plans, is that it doesn’t have the perspective to be accountable. we need to know how to improvise. we need to know how to move forward. we need to struggle to survive, because that's what make life worth living.

why do i say these? am i being self-righteous? or boastful? or selfish?

maybe i am all of the above. or maybe i've been living in my head for so long that i have
forgotten to hold on to my emotions. Or maybe my feelings are unreal, because they don't seem to belong to me anymore.

I don't think I can trust anyone again. I will try, I know I will. But at the moment
I'd like to live more than what I can hold under my breath. So let me think.
Let me dwell in my thoughts. Let me plan.

But yes I am admitting to my own mistake or mistakes..but then again it doesnt mean I can manage already my future.

Yet my awareness to its existence will help me be able to prepare for it..hopefully, permanently.

but i am afraid, even by my own mind and my own emotions. i am scared that i am dealing with my own self.

...the gist of this article? "let us not worry of messing up, because it is not what makes up a person..
remember that a skillful sailor is not trained by a calm sea but by the storms and the wrath of waves he conquered."

P.S. I don’t hate Macau..I love the place. It’s my new hiding place, my own personal cave..because my aunt (my refuge..next to my mom) now lives there and has moved from Baguio City since last year..And she alone knows what ‘mistake’ I am trying to rub off from my skin, my mind, my heart and my soul that year. *I miss her already*

Balik tanaw sa pagka-bata ang ginawa ko nung Sunday...Ipinasyal ko ang nanay ko bago siya ma-confine sa hospital ng Lunes. Siyempre bitbit nya ang mga kapatid ko at mga pinsan. Dahil birthday ni dad sa Friday, nilibre din niya kami ng lunch..at sagot ko naman ang entertainment...as usual.

Hindi na tulad ng dati ang epekto ng paglalaro sa arcade. Mas-enjoy na ako manuod at mag-take ng piktyurs sa kanila.

Pero ang kakaiba dito..regalo lang din ang mga tiket ng 'TimeZone' na ito. Masarap sa pakiramdam ang makapamahagi sa mga mahal ko sa buhay ang mga biyaya na natatamasa ko ;-)

*salamat nga pala kay Nix sa libreng tiketz!* Wuhoo!

Letting Go of Love

I read it..gosh out loud in my head. And I can't get a grab of myself to actually finish the article.
But here I am..proud to say that I just did..

So allow me to share with you...

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/172

an article by Dr. Phil on 'letting go of holding on'.

8 years ago

1999, they were little kids ages 5 and 7 . And the youngest was just about to be born..before they left for Seattle. But now thay are bigger than me and far better basketball players than me (as for my nephews of course). *Lolz*

Gosh, I feel so young and old all at the same time, while talking and listening to my niece and nephews. I used to just bring them at Jollibee and StarCity (I was just in my OJT that year, yah know... Hehehe.) Now, they want to drag me around the malls of Metro Manila. I can't wait to hear their stories went they get back. Hopefully we can reminsce our adventures when they were still little kids. But the story-telling have to wait until they get back from the province. They're very very very excited to hit the beach at Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte.

It's nice seeing family again..knowing they're here to divide your sorrow.

Arvin, Ayan and Angela..Thanks for visiting Mom!..I mean your lola! hehehe

*Sniff...I miss you guys already*

Birds of the Same Feather

They say you should surround yourself with people you'd like to be 'like'. What do I want to be? here' a new list you'd be waiting for, from time to time..

Hhmm...I wanna be like..



One..I wanna be great at what I do. It's like the cream of the crop or like the cherry on a mud slide vanilla ice cream. You know, someone that is recognized as trustworthy and diligent at work.


So? I say congrats to the hardworking 'Sugar'! You deserve the recognition of being an 'Outstanding Achiever' in all of global TrendMicro! Enjoy Disneyland ;-) and the perks that comes a long with it! Wuhoo!


And another..I wanna be happy & helpful..
*although he's not smiling here..hehehe*


But yaha! At long last....after 4 long-exhausting years..I have a new phone ;-) Courtesy of the tekkie & personal input of Bes Gary!


He drayb all the way to help me make-up my mind..on which cp to pick and buy! And not only that I have a phone that reflects who I am...*snicke- snicker* as I've mentioned I got a friend who's always ready to be 'harassed', I mean to 'lend a helping hand' when I needed his outmost assistance and sincere opinion!


Kudos to you guys..I'm glad to be your friend..I hope osmosis works! *Lolz*

Enganged and Counting..

There are 6 couples who got engaged recently. Do the math, 9 of them are my friends . So 2 couples will be marrying this year. And next year, I'll be celebrating four more weddings with my colleagues. Whew!

Visualize this celebration of love and fidelity...marriage of families..But *dang!* it's also hard work for the couples.. and the couples parents and relatives...friends, peers and loved ones.

But then again, it's a lifetime commitment..so what gives if we over-prepare with that tight budget or over-decorate or in better terms 'strive for perfection' in binding two hearts? *Winx*

And yes, there are these little pleasures called 'perks of having tons of generous friends! Why?? Because I was able to attend food-tasting with one of the grooms *Looking really serious while browsing the caterer's catalogue*! Wuhoo!

...Life couldn't be so much better than celebrating 'love' with family and friends,

don't you think so?

My 1st Baby Shower

Life is simple. And the best things in life are free. It's also full of surprises and blessings.

So what could be any better than growing life itself inside of you, right? - - -No! I am not pregnant! My P.I.C. is! She'll be a mom by next month! And she's throwing a purple-party for that little angel who eagerly awaits to come out to the world!

*Sigh* I can't help but smile with the wonder of how God ever thought of such "miracle"!

Yesterday Gravity..Now, U Hve 2 Know

Song Title: Just So You Know

I shouldn't love you

but I want you

I just can't turn away

I shouldn't see you but I can't move

I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine

when I'm not

'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]

Just so you know

This feeling's taking control of me

And I can't help it I won't sit around,

I can't let him win now

Thought you should know

I've tried my best to let go of you

But I don't want to I just gotta say it all

Before I go

Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you

There's so much I can't say

Do you want me to hide the feelings

And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine

when I'm not

'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me

And I'm wondering why

I've waited so long

Looking back I realize

It was always there just never spoken

I'm waiting here...been waiting here

[Chorus]

Oh-range!

You can't be real. You just can't be.

I already knew from the start that I am willing to take my chances...

I looked at you. I hide through my sunglasses. I should not be doing this to you. But I just can't help myself from staring. It feels like home to be gazing in your eyes. I feel so safe and serene with the warmth of your embrace. And your voice keep ringing in my head even when I am asleep. These mere thoughts of being with you...

..What a dream! I though I was with *you* for a minute or two there...{{sigh}} Thank goodness! I lost my grip in the last orange! I'm now awake...

But then again I have an important thing to do..I have to buy another round of oranges.

"For anything that is worth having, one has to pay the price." - John Burroughs

Salt and Candles

It's the time of the year when we commemorate our graduation days. And at these time too we try to rush and hush the last days we have for the year that was in school. We try to remember our truimphs and the glory, and we try to forget and get up from our failures.

We excite ourselves of the new chapter that awaits us. We can't wait of the new oppurtunities and the new experiences that we will teach and mold us in the likeness of our God. At the same time we are afraid of the unknown future and we nee to admit that it scares the hell of us.

Because often times at the last day, we assess the year that was, if we become a failure or if we become an achievement. But at the end of it all we always want to make a difference, we want to change the world to be a better place to live in. But what if our graduation days are over? Or we do not have the luxury of time? And we know that graduation days are not always everyday? Should we always wait for the 'end day' to do some good or god-like? Should we always wait for chances to come by for us to make a move?

What if we can make a difference now?...Something like to 'be a salt of the earth and bring light to world?"

Here's your chance:

http://www.lightamillioncandles.com/

And light a candle for the innocent victims of online child abuse.